Did anyone note the overwhelming sarcasm in that title? Jokes and sarcasm aside, a DC Metropolitan police officer is lucky to be alright after a man approached his cruiser and smashed an ax into his driver side window. The officer was unharmed during the attack, but did suffer a dislocated shoulder while wrestling with the attacker.
During the scuffle, the attacker was able to get away and remains at large.
This attack comes just a week after a man with a hatchet attacked a group of NYC police officers before being shot and killed.
Nearly every hardware store in the country offers axes for sale. They’re so easy to get in fact, that you don’t even have to leave your home to get one. Just hop over to Ebay and you’ll find thousands of them for sale.
We’re eagerly awaiting an official announcement on the formation of Moms Demand Action For Ax Sense In America, since it seems that these attacks are becoming more frequent. Maybe one day, you’ll have to complete a background check at the hardware store before you’re able to leave with your new ax.
Police Chief Lanier had the following comments to make regarding this incident:
“While we do not have any information at this point on the motivation surrounding today’s attack, this situation underscores the need to always maintain a very high level of situational awareness while we are working,” Lanier said in a release. “Recent incidents targeting uniformed law enforcement officers in Quebec, New York City, and now to one our own here in Washington, D.C. are reminders that we must always be ready for any eventuality.”
While the police of DC have firearms to protect themselves against crazy ax-wielding criminals, your average citizen isn’t so lucky. Let’s hope that the law-abiding and unarmed citizens of DC don’t encounter this crazy person, as they won’t have a way to defend themselves. Unless of course, they’ve been victims of an ax attack before. Then, they might have a shot at a concealed carry permit. But probably not.
Right, it doesn’t make any sense.